$374 Panda Express Orange Chicken Taste Test | FANCY FAST FOOD


– Did you see that squirt? – (man laughing) – This is wild. – I can spot a good
squirt from a mile away. (soft beat music) – Yeah, can I go ahead and do
one plate and one kid’s meal both with orange chicken
and chow mein please. – Let’s compare the sizes. I love it because it is the perfect size for both of us. – It like equally represents both of our personalities.
– Equally represents. Mine is very cute look
at this little panda its cute little face
– Mine’s large and grotesque – Which is large as… – and too much for one person to consume. – Yep, okay. Oh, you go orange first. – You have this just crazy punch of acidity, sweetness, spice and then what you don’t notice are the aromatics on the back end. So you’re like getting the ginger, even though you wouldn’t
immediately think ginger when you taste it,
– Yeah but you get it and that’s
what actually makes it unique. – Now that you’re mentioning it, I do, the ginger is hitting. – What’s your professional critique. – It’s good. (laughing) I think one thing I love
about orange chicken, is that I do love dark meat. – It’s the anti-McDonald’s, they do all white meat and
they brag about it, no, no, no. Panda’s doing all dark meat
and they’re doing it right. – Yeah. – So I really wanted to
take you to a chicken farm and I wanted you to catch your our chicken and that we could actually
bring back and butcher and dress ourselves, but I thought that may
be a little bit intense, and also I was told I’m
not allowed to do that. So, instead we are going
with the low-hanging fruit literally, and we’re
going to an orange farm. We got to go orange picking. That’s the key to success in this dish, getting the freshest oranges possible. – That’s the perfect
place to chase someone if you’re gonna kill them. – Yes. – If you ask a murderer if
they’re gonna murder you and they say “No”, they’re not allowed to murder you anymore. – Yeah, I’ve heard that. (soft beat music) – [Josh] I’m Josh – Hi, I’m Janet. – So like how many years
has this been operating? – We’ve been here since
1961, when we planted. – If you were going to
make orange chicken, the best orange chicken,
the fanciest orange chicken you possibly could. – Oh, all oranges are wonderful (group laughing) – That’s the politically correct answer – Yeah right.
– You have to say that. Right now the best oranges are Valencia, – Okay – We just ended the navel season. – [Josh] Awesome. – But right now the Valencias are great. – So is it cool if we just like go and pick some oranges ourselves? – It’s is cool, go for it. – [Christine] Can you
make wine out of oranges? I guess you can, right? – [Josh] Yeah, you can
make wine out of anything. – [Christine] Like an orange wine. How long would it take
to make and orange wine? – Ooh, I don’t know we should try. – We should try, it’d
have a like an orange… – I’ve been pitching, will it wine, for a while. – Will it wine? Oh my god, okay. – Yeah I feel like we have to taste test one just to get the flavor profile. – Like rip it open, – Yes
– Is this good? I don’t… – No that’s, we gotta get
a ripe one from up top. – Concert style! – [Josh] That looks good – Does anyone else want an orange while I’m up here? Did you see that squirt? (laughing) This is wild. – I can spot a good
squirt from a mile away. – This is really good. – [Josh] Right?
– It’s a really good orange. Do we need to even go any further? – Oh Christine, do we
need to go any further? We’re not trying to just
find like a usable orange, I want to find the best
orange in this entire grove. – What about these ones? Let’s grab some of these puppies. They’re so nice and orange. Okay, I’m gonna pull – [Josh] Did you see that one up there? – (mumbles) – Sorry, sorry. – Ah, you can let me down. Good ride horsey. (neighing horse) – Can I have a sugar cube? – [Christine] I feel like
this is very peaceful. – This is. – How many oranges do you
need for orange chicken? – Just one. – Oh my, you were, wait you do have a good vertical. I’m like legitimately impressed. – I can touch it but it’s hard to grab it. Oh, congratulations. What do you want, like a trophy? Here, here’s your trophy. – Thank you. Look at her go. – I don’t need tall people. – [Josh] You’re doing good.
(Christine screams) – Can you come get these
oranges from me though? – Oh yeah, yeah, I gotcha. – It’s hard to climb
when your hands are full. Some fun brachiating. (hands slap) – I think we got what we need. – Yeah. – I feel ready to cook. – I was, like, always ready to cook, but you, it was your whole idea. I was like should we just go to Ralphs you’re like ” (mumbles) orange grove.” – Yeah, I’m very difficult. I’m high maintenance. – Christine, we’re back
here in the kitchen. – You changed. – I think you’ve changed
too and we all change we’ve been through
– I’ve literally not changed – You still smell the same as when you’re on the orange grove. – That’s horrifying, thank you. – Alright, so let’s get into this. This is how we’re going to make our orange chicken fancy. We obviously got those
beautiful Valencia oranges, from Gless Ranch, but everything’s gonna
start with the chicken. So this actually isn’t a chicken, it is a capon, which is neutered French rooster. Anytime you are affecting
the genitals of an animal its value immediately goes up. For the flour for dredging,
we’re using Grist and Toll This is a hard white wheat flour, so its got a high gluten content. I hope you’re not gluten intolerant, cause it’s about to get
real farty in this kitchen – We’re about to find out. – Then this you’ll notice
from every rap song possible. This is Cristal, Louis Roederer. This is about $300 a bottle and we can’t drink any of it because we have to put it all in
our orange chicken sauce. – I mean drink a bit of it. We
could get some mimosas going, come on live a little
(laughing) Joshy boy. – We have work to do.
– Okay. – Then we have our Shaoxing Cooking Wine, this is common in a lot of Chinese dishes. This is both going to go into the sauce and into the marinade. – We could just get lit if
didn’t want to make this orange chicken
– I think we might as well just do that
– because we got wine, we got Cristal
– You know what gets me real lit, sodium bicarbonate water. This is lie water
– Delicious – You put this in the chow mein noodle dough
– that’s a lie. – It makes the noodles even more supple. Then if you wanna get even more lit, what’s more lit than oyster
sauce with dried scallops? (giggling) – It’s the dried scallops
that will do you in. – You gotta rub it in your gums, it gets in your bloodstream faster. Then we have this beautiful Tsuru Bisiho, which is a four-year-aged Japanese Shoyu. – I don’t know any of those words, but I believe you. – Then we have this Orange Blossom honey that is coming form Gless Ranch, as well. – This is the only thing from here that I can afford to eat. – That was like eighteen bucks. – Nevermind. – I know what you’re thinking, I am staring at Josh inside of Josh, and as much as I’d love
to be inside myself, I would love it even more if you subscribe to the Mythical YouTube channel. If enough of you subscribe, we’ll get more shows and you
can all be inside me too. Don’t forget to click the
bell for notifications. Okay so the first step, we
gotta take this beautiful capon and we need to butcher it and remove all its skin. What I like to do first, is take off the wings, there we go – I heard it break – Then you just rip the wing right off. – You’re a monster. – You’re kidding. You’re a monster, you’re complicit. Now, the rest of it, the bird takes care of itself. – This is a very fat and big bird – That’s what happens when
you take off its testes. – It looks like it’s very meditative, but also disgusting for you. – Yes, meditative, but
disgusting is kind of my brand. So, we’re actually gonna be
doing with the skin in the bowl is we’re going to be rendering
it down into its fat, then we’re gonna fry the
chow mein in the capon fat. – It’s like murdering a
family and then dressing itself in its clothes or something. – How else would you do it? We’re gonna see if we can
get one more joint cracked, to expose– (bone cracking) – You’re too comfortable at this – This is the least disgusting thing I have done in this kitchen. – I don’t want to know what the most disgusting thing is, and I don’t think we– – Holding my boss’ pee. So, now we need to
actually fry this chicken and it starts with the marinating process. Kinda similar to Japanese Karaage. So what you’re gonna
do is take a tablespoon of very fancy soy sauce
pour that in there. – Tablespoon? – Tablespoon
– All right – You’ve seen it there you go. Then you’re gonna do a tablespoon of the Shaoxing cooking wine as well. – Love cooking wine. – Then if you want whisk
up those egg whites that’s great. – That’s how I whisk. – Sesame oil and a little bit of salt. – This is how it’s done. (murmurs) – Oh, here’s the proper way
– I didn’t mean, no – To whisk
– it’s like we gotta get cooking done. Ben’s already mad.
– Mansplaining whisking to me like I never okay it looks different, I get it. – You’re gonna go ahead
and dump that in there and then give it a good toss. I’m gonna get this pan heating. – Like double-dutch. – It’s just like double-dutch. – But with raw chicken. – Then what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna take equal parts white wheat flour and then rice flour, and you have to try and mix
that as fast as you can, and get all the chicken clumps separated. – If you had to hire a Sous Chef would you hire me out of everyone because I’m doing pretty good today? – Yes Alright
– Wow! I was expecting– – So we’re just gonna
wait for this to heat up to about 325 and then we’re
gonna fry in there in batches. – How do you that it’s at
325, it’s just boiling? – Not there yet. Alright, so now we need
to fry this chicken up. So what we’re gonna do
is take our strainer and we’re gonna work in batches
to not overcrowd the pan. We’re gonna shake off a little
bit of that excess flour. Then we’re just gonna get
this right into the hot oil. So, like just, scoop it under there I’ll hold it, we can kinda “Ghost” it. You’re doing great. Oh, got you a live one! – Oh, we’re gonna put
this here on the boat. – Let’s play with hot burning duck fat. – So we’re starting out
with our 2008 Cristal. This is the fanciest champagne that any mid-2000s rap video has to offer. We went to an orange
ranch, we got Cristal, we’re gonna do mimosas. You know it’s been a long week. – This is my fanciest mimosa I’ve ever had in my entire life. – I hope this is the fanciest
mimosa most people have had. (excited shouting) – That was a lot cooler than I expected. – I feel like I should be going to ballerholics anonymous meetings. – Right – Cheers, oh my gosh. – Actually, that’s really nice – That’s really good – No 2000, this is not a bit. 2008 Cristal has like
really beautiful honeysuckle notes, which is why I wanted to use it, in this dish. – So it’s here for the honeysuckle– – So that’s just gonna go
– Champagne showers gotta do it up pop pop. The entire bottle? – Yeah, the whole bottle. So we’re gonna reduce this entire bottle into a half cup of
liquid so we’re gonna get all that super concentrated flavor, right into our orange sauce. – So chug-a-lug– – Chug-a-lug – We’re gonna shuck some fresh oysters. So you just have to find
an opening in the shell, and then you’re gonna
jam the knife in there. Being careful not to stab yourself. Shove it in the butt area, and then you can just – Kinda pry
– Is this how they do it normally?
– Yeah – You know a girl never forgets
the first oyster she shucks. (banging) – Why won’t you text me back? – Alright, hold on. Maybe a little (mumbles) hey let me – You wanna try? – Yeah, let me just
jump in there real fast. – Please show. – Just press down. There you did all by yourself! – I think learning
about levies and puller. – Pullers and levies. – Pullers and levies. – The Jewish families down the street. – Ooh, prosciutto.
– So this, is Iberica ham. This is similar to prosciutto
but it is a Spanish version. You want me to feed you ham? Now you can feel rich, this is what rich people do everyday. – You had oysters all over your hand. – Oysters and ham is
a classic combination, like lamb and tuna fish. I’m just gonna go ahead and
cube up some of that ham. (chopping) – You’re just mashing at it at this point. That’s great, watch out for your fingers, that’s a sharp knife. (chopping) We’re doing the same thing! So now we’re gonna take that capon fat – Capon fat – We’re gonna get that
heating as hot as possible. We don’t want to start–
– Can I toss it in? – Not yet.
– Okay. We’re gonna wait for it to start smoking, it should be pretty fast, though. It’s a hot wok. – Can we wait for us to
start smoking? Hell ya dude. – Four twenty blaze it. I love what you did with your knife cuts, how you kind of made this
paper mache type situation. – They’re earrings
– From where the knife never went through it at all. I love it! (laughing) Now what we’re gonna do I’m gonna take the ham and oysters. – You gotta say one thing Bam! – Their gonna get sizzled right in there. – Ow! – Then I’m gonna take the noodles– – Wait, can I do it? – Yeah, here wait hold on. Be ginger. – Ooh, I don’t know what that means. – That’s great. You get the noodles
tossed in all that fat. Then we’re gonna get our veggies. – Shabam. – Then we’re just gonna
continue to saute and toss. – Okay cool. I’m not gonna lie this
does smell incredible. – Doesn’t it? – It smells amazing. – It’s starting to look amazing. Alright, so this is
where the orange chicken becomes the orange chicken. It all comes together. You have the very important
job of squeezing all the oranges into that,
and also killing that fly. – Ssh ssh everyone. – Oh my god! Did you really just
kill it into the orange? – I caught it. I’m just gonna… – I’m so impressed right now. That’s that capon fat. Then you’re just gonna
keep juicing those oranges. (sizzling) We’re gonna get garlic in there. Lot’s of ginger. Some Thai chilies. The Shaoxing cooking wine. Rice vinegar. – I love rice vinegar – I love rice vinegar, little bit of sesame oil. Then we’re gonna zest a full orange, this gonna give you all
that beautiful floral slightly bitter notes. That’s gonna go right in there. – That honestly already smells really bomb Just putting in– – Already put the champagne in there, uh? – I’m gonna make some–
– I was going real fast I forgot what I was doing. When I realized I called
Shaoxing cooking wine earlier, was actually 300 dollars
worth of Cristal champagne that I dumped
unceremoniously into the wok. (Josh talking slowly)
Shaoxing cooking wine Little bit of soy in there – Lil soy boy – Just a little bit I identify as a soy boy. A lot of people call me soy boy – No, you’re more of a bougie boy hashtag bougie boy for life. – Then we’re gonna put a whole lot of that orange blossom honey. – [Together] Oh, yeah. – Kill that bear. – That’s nice. Starting to come together.
You can smell the honey on it, that’s looking really great. Then the final step is to
make a corn starch slurry. Which is actually Machine Gun Kelly’s given Christian name. Toss it all in there. – Woo! This looks amazing. – Yeah, this is fantastic. So we’re just gonna let
all that sauce thicken up. – Can I wallop it? – Yeah, you wanna wallop it? – I just don’t know if
that is the word for it. – Make sure to grab the wood,
the wood doesn’t get hot. That’s great! You’re doing awesome! You’re so helpful, and graceful. Alright, orange chicken is done. Now we just gotta plate it up. – I feel so much pressure to enjoy this. – Yes. – Cause if I don’t, then you just wasted so
much time and energy. – Yes. So now we just have to
take some chili threads. – This is the most important part, the tweezers. – The tweezers, I’m just gonna– – Me and my chin know tweezers, trust me. – What did you say about
your chin and tweezers? – It’s like a single whisker. A lot of woman have it. A lot of woman have it! Can I, may I? – Yeah, please! (Christine singing)
– Put that on top. – I just (mumbles) – Okay, we’re good. There’s our fancy orange chicken. – Oh my god, it looks beautiful. – Let’s see how it
compares to the OG dish. – How much champagne did
they use in this one? – Not enough. – Okay. So there’s a lot of color
differences, actually. I think this one’s more vibrant. – There is. I think we got some more
caramelization on our sauce. Theirs doesn’t have that. This looks a little more corn syrupy, we used a kind of dark honey. But otherwise, like, the
shape of the chicken’s pretty similar. The chow
mein’s a little similar, our is a little darker cause
we used a whole wheat flour, and their not. But otherwise, these look pretty similar. – Ours looks way sexier (clicking) – Let’s do it. – Let’s eat it. (soft base music) – I like the texture of the
chicken, it’s really good. It’s a little more sour than I think I’m used to orange chicken being. – I love that you actually
get the champagne in there. – Yeah – There’s that whole bottle of Cristal Like there’s that little tinge
in the back of your mouth, like you just chugged a mimosa. – Yeah. – Think about yourself
chugging a mimosa at brunch. That’s the flavor that’s in your mouth. This is actually really awesome. – How much does this bowl right here cost? – This bowl right here, costs $374.16. A little bit pricier than that one. – But that’s also like, you know, an improve classes worth of money. Take an improve class or have a bowl of chow mein and orange chicken. – No
– The endless debate in LA. – I’d take a Diet Coke
over an improve class. – (laughing) Fair enough. – Let me know in the
comments what fast food you want me to fancify next, and than you so much for
watching and showing support. If you want to keep showing support, go subscribe to the
Mythical YouTube channel. If we get enough subscribers, we can keep making awesome
food content like this. See ya next time. (slow rock music)

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