Can I Go Blind from Playing Video Games? – Your Worst Fears Confirmed

Can you go blind
from playing video games? 100%, and here’s how.
Your eyes are made up of rods and cones that all float
in the goo of the eyeball. If the rods or cones
get damaged, or if the goo leaks out,
you will go blind. How can video games disturb
this precious eyeball ecosystem? Video Games are composed
of 2-D images, plumbers, ninjas,
Sims in jacuzzies. While your eyes are built
to process 3-D images, plumbers, ninjas,
Kims in jacuzzies. Doctors say that video games
can cause strain on your eyes, but they can’t
make you go blind. But doctors lie. That’s why
malpractice insurance exists. Let’s say you spend
the next 30 days, 24 hours a day playing
video games uninterrupted. You strap a feed bag
to your jaw, cut a hole in your couch
to fit a bed pan. You’re going to have a great
time playing video games. But you have
undiagnosed Lagophthalmos Disease, a condition that causes
your eyes to stay open without blinking for hours. It’s why you never lost
a staring contest. And now after 720 hours,
it’s the reason your eyeballs look like
pruning hot tub fingers, because you just went blind,
from playing video games. Let’s say you’re a big time
blinker, keep those balls moist
all year round and your body active
with your Nintendo Wii. People say that gamers
are couch potatoes, not you, you’ve got lats
and delts and cum gutters, all thanks to your Wii
Fit. You’re feeling the burn
during Mario Tennis. It’s your, me against Yoshi
and it’s 40 love, you’re one serve away
from a perfect game. You swing and it’s an ace. You throw up
your hands in victory, at which point you realize you forgot to attach
the safety strap. After hours of sweaty tennis, the Wii-mote flies
out of your hands and smashes
into your eye socket. Game, set, blind,
from video games. Let’s say you never have
your eyes exposed while playing video games,
always keep them covered with a VR headset and you just splurged
on an oculus rift. Worth it,
the graphics are incredible. You spend days
in sheer virtual reality bliss, fighting bears, kissing robots.
They’re just suggestions, you don’t have
to do those things. Hours turn into days,
turn into months. You finally take your glasses
off on April 8th, 2024 and look up into the sky
as the moon lines up perfectly with the sun
for a total solar eclipse. You think it’s just another
incredible graphics package. You don’t know what’s real,
you’re in too deep. As the direct sunlight scorches
your retinal sockets, your eyeballs burst into flames
like marshmallows at the end of a campfire stick. You just went blind
from video games, again. Let’s say you don’t trust VR,
you’re a classics kind of guy. That’s why you prefer more
vintage game like, Duck Hunt. You’re sitting
in your living room, plastic gun
controller casually pointed to the flying ducks on screen. You’re having such a great time,
you don’t notice the two ornery hops that have
landed outside your window, and they don’t like what you’re
doing to their duck friends. They decide to take revenge. They use their beaks
to crack open a window and pluck out your eyes. The last thing you see
is that dog in the field. He’s just laughing at you, because nature just blinded you
for playing video games. Let’s say
you’re an online gamer, got into gaming for
the community MMORP God bless. And you’re having a wonderful
time with your friends from all around the globe, until some troll enters
your World of Warcraft. He’s slinging insults,
real personal stuff says, everyone knows
you’re not a real doctor even if you do wear
that stethoscope. You fill with rage. You don’t even realize
what’s happening until your fist slams
into the TV screen. Shards of plexiglass fly
out of the Boob Tube and straight into your [eye lube
00:00:03:34] , pierce through your retina,
causing all the goo to leak out. Now you’re blind,
permanently from video games. Let’s say you’ve never played
a violent game in your life. You prefer something
more serene, like a life strategy simulation,
Sims. You purchased Sim’s Hot Date,
decide it’s time for your avatar to travel to a new destination
called downtown. There he meets a lady. She’s a beautiful,
elegant, older woman. There’s something about her
that’s familiar, even though she is, but a computer
generated stranger. At the end of an incredible
evening together, she leads you to her bungalow
where your two avatars and make me passionate woo-hoo, but in the morning, the real
you wakes up in a cold sweat. You rush to your desktop
as the thing nagging you becomes crystal clear, you thought that woman
looked familiar because that woman is familiar. Your familiar,
it’s your mother’s Avatar. She started playing after
the divorce, you’re a modern day Oedipus. You gouge out your eyes,
spend the rest of your life wandering the perimeter
of your desktop, blind from video games. Let’s say you never play games.
You just like to watch. Solitaire, you like it
when the cards fill the screen. Well, 60 years from now
you get glaucoma. Your optometrist says
it’s from old age and your family history
of Glaucoma. I say it’s from the fact
that you once watched a computer game of solitaire.
Who are you going to trust? Me, or some optometrists who
makes you say letters out loud? Plus they’re too far away,
you can’t even see them. So yes, you can go blind
from video games. It’s just a matter
of when and how. I’m Natasha Vaynblat,
I’m better than an optometrist. I’m an expert and your worst fear
has been confirmed.


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