Do We Really Need a Hair Metal Tour in 2019? (feat. Ray Romano) – Lights Out with David Spade


Oh, guys,
Ron’s been here before. Nikki, of course, and Ray,
it’s the first time. -A newcomer. -GLASER: Yeah.
-Ray, uh, thanks for coming. Ray and I are at the Mirage
this Friday and Saturday -in Vegas.
-Friday night. -Together.
-ROMANO: Yeah. And you’re not only– you’re not
only in the Irishman on
Netflix. Is there one called Paddleton ? Paddleton, nobody saw, right? -Come on.
-One guy saw it. It’s a small–
it’s a teeny movie. -It’s this big on Netflix.
-Lost. Yeah, it kind of got lost there.
Go check it out. All right, this is big news. Mötley Crüe–
your favorite band– Def Leppard and Poison are planning a stadium tour
in 2020. It’s being called, uh,
Stepdadapalooza. Or, uh… -Yeah?
-Or Blond and Bloated. (laughter) I don’t mean to be mean.
That’s what I’m gonna look like when I finally tape
my pregnant comedy special. -SPADE: The middle guy?
-GLASER: Yeah. I should be up there.
I mean, my God, I’m so close. (laughter) Pour some sugar on me.
You can’t. I’ve got diabetes. This… this is gonna be
a rockin’ out tour. -I… -Well, I’m-a go.
I’m excited to go. Uh, if there’s anything
I’ve learned from being in Hollywood,
it’s how to embrace being the only black person
wherever I am. (laughter) You’ll definitely be
the only one there. I definitely will. Um, I’ve seen people talking
about it, though. People seem very excited. I haven’t seen my white friends
this excited since that White Claw drink
came out. That White Claw…
Who’s the hottest one, Nikki? Um, oh, I mean,
obviously, Bret Michaels. -Oh, really? Obviously?
-Yeah, I mean, like-like… (laughs):
Come on. -SPADE: Is this…
-Which one’s Bret Michaels? He’s with the headband
that makes it -so he doesn’t look like
he’s as bald as he is. -Oh. -Yeah.
-It holds his wig in place. His sunglasses are supposed
to stop him from being bald. -I know, yeah. Where’s his
accessory? -I know, he needs it. Bret Michaels looks like
if DMX was wearing whiteface. Yeah, he really does. (laughter and applause) All right,
they all look the same. Here-here they all are
mashed together. I don’t know how that helped. They still look the same. All right, guys, South Dakota
has a crystal meth problem, -so they… Yeah.
-FUNCHES: What? Have you read about this? They launched
a new anti-meth campaign with a slogle… the slogan was
“Meth. We’re on it.” But… (laughter) -This is a real campaign.
-Yeah. It actually, like, I…
Well, I’m gonna say that first it was,
“Meth. Not even once.” Now it’s, “Meth. I’m on it.” Pretty soon, it’s gonna be
“Meth. Can I borrow 40 bucks?” (laughter) I love it. I say embrace… I-If your whole state
is on meth, you got to embrace it,
celebrate it. Be happy with who you are. I say legalize meth.
Legalize it. -GLASER: Yeah.
-(cheering) If I want to pay somebody $20
to paint my house, that’s my business. (laughter) Are they aware, though?
That’s the question. They’re aware that this is
a funny play on words, right? They didn’t do it and say,
“Oh, shit, we (bleep) up”? I feel like they did it
and said, “Oh, shit.” I think it’s, like,
it’s tongue-in-cheek. Or sor… I’m sorry,
tongue-and-hole-in-your-cheek. -Um…
-(laughter) This guy’s 31. (laughter and applause) -He’s like, “Who needs a plow?”
-That one should say, like, uh, -“Flomax. I’m on it.”
-SPADE: Yeah.

100 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *