Key & Peele – Laron Can’t Laugh


SO THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE,
MAN, I WAS STRAIGHT KICKING GAME TO THIS BEAUTIFUL CHICK,
DIANA, MAN? AND THE–IT’S A HOUSE PARTY,
AND SO ANYWAY, I GO TO THE KITCHEN TO GRAB US
A COUPLE OF BEERS, MAN. I KID YOU NOT,
I SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL. A BANANA PEEL.
IT WAS LIKE THIS. I WAS LIKE–JUST FELL ON MY ASS.
I JUST BUSTED MY ASS. – A BANANA PEEL? – LIKE I WAS BUSTER KEATON
OR SOMETHING. I WAS LIKE–
POO! [laughter] IT’S–UH– – YO–YO, DOG, YOU GOOD? – YEAH, MAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – WHAT, ME? IT WAS A FUNNY STORY.
I WAS LAUGHING. – THEN LET IT OUT, MAN. JUST–JUST LAUGH. – I AM. – YEAH, SO, ANYWAY, YOU KNOW,
SO I GET UP, RIGHT? AND I GO TO GRAB A BEER, AND I FORGET THEY
ALL WAS SHOOKEN UP WHEN THEY FELL, RIGHT? I KID YOU NOT, THIS BEER
EXPLODED IN MY CROTCH, AND IT LOOKED
LIKE I PEED MYSELF. AND NOW I’M TRYING TO WALK,
BUT MY PANTS… [laughter] COME ON, WHAT ARE WE DOING? – DON’T HIT–
– DON’T HIT MY COUCH, LARON. – KEEP YOUR– – COME ON, YO.
I’M JUST LAUGHING WITH Y’ALL. – WELL, WE WERE LAUGHING. YOU WEREN’T–YOU DIDN’T,
YOU KNOW, MAKE ANY NOISE. YOU JUST OPENED YOUR MOUTH,
AND YOU STARTED JIGGLING. – YOU LOOKED LIKE
A WORM ON CRACK. – MM-HMM. – I GUESS EVERYBODY JUST
HAS THEIR OWN UNIQUE LAUGH. – OKAY, MAN,
YOU WERE NOT LAUGHING. YOU WERE NOT EMITTING SOUND
UP OUT YOUR MOUTH, MAN. – HEY, I’M GOOD. TELL YOUR STORY. – THANK YOU.
OKA–ANYWAY, I WENT BACK TO THE KITCHEN
TO GET TWO FRESH BEERS, AND SHE SAID, “I HATE BEER, BUT WHERE DID MY BANANA GO?” AND SO THEN
WE CALLED HER CHIQUITA DIANA. THERE HE GOES. LARON, DON’T BACK UP. HEY. – COME ON, MAN.
– CUT IT OUT, LARON. – HEY,
GET AWAY FROM THE TURTLES. LARON, DON’T DO THIS,
JUST DON’T TOUCH MY TUR– NIGGA, GET AWAY FROM IT. WHY YOU KNOCKING DOWN MY CDs?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OKAY, YOU PUT A LAMPSHADE
ON YOUR HEAD? HEY.
– COME ON. COME ON, THOSE ARE PRICELESS.
– OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW I SAY, LIKE,
YOU DOING IT INTENTIONALLY, NOW. – ALL RIGHT, SEE?
THAT’S NOT EVEN–YOU KNOW, IT’S ALMOST
LIKE YOU CHOREOGRAPHED IT. – YOU’RE GONNA
CLEAN ALL THIS UP. – OKAY. – LOOK, HEY, IF YOU’RE GONNA
LAUGH, THEN JUST LAUGH! DAMN. – MAYBE SOMETIMES YOU AIN’T AS FUNNY
AS YOU THINK. – ALL RIGHT. I GOT SOMETHING THAT’LL MAKE
YOU LAUGH. HUH?
BAP, HUH? – YEAH, JUST LET IT OUT.
– THERE YOU GO, LARON. – YEAH, THAT’S FUNNY.
– THAT’S IT, MAN. – JUST LET IT–OH, NO. THAT’S FUNNY, HUH?
– THERE YOU GO, MAN. – OH! HE GOING BACKWARDS.
– COME ON, BUDDY. JUST LAUGH, MAN, JUST LAUGH.
YOU KNOW THAT’S FUNNY. – THAT’S FUNNY!
– WHY WON’T YOU LAUGH? – COME ON, JUST LET IT OUT.
– JUST LAUGH, BROTHER. COME ON, MAN.
– IT’S A ROBOT. – OH, MAN, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
– OH, OH, OH, OH, BOOP. BOOP. – LET IT OUT.
– BOOP. – LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT! – [screeching roar] [all screaming] [roaring continues] [roaring stops] – SEE, THAT’S WHY I DIDN’T
WANT TO LAUGH. HAVE A GOOD LIFE.

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