Mark Zuckerberg Is Not Human


Umm.. (stutters) There’s, there’s some, there’s some pretty good ones. Uhh.. Especially, you know one of the crazy things when you do these live Q&As is some of them are very silly, so we got one – “Mark, are the allegations true that you’re secretly a lizard?” Umm.. (stutters) I’m gonna, I’m gonna have to go with no, on that. I, I am, I am NOT a lizard. Umm.. But you know keep the high quality comments coming in. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, WELL!!! Mr. Suckerberg, dunked yourself into a hole! Mr. SSSucker! SSSSUCKERBURG!! Not a lizard people, he said. We’ve been seeing Mark Zuckerberg act strange for a long time, a long time now from, from the infamous or famous meme. Nice job team. “New face filters on Instagram today.” “This is my favorite one so far. Nice job team!” New face filter on Instagram today. This is my favorite one so far. Nice job team, Something is cLeArLy off with Mark Suckerberg’s Antics before where what is it? Why is the man? Leading a social media network so incapable Of social ness This I just want to warn you guys what I’m about to show you next Might shock you. It might… ZZZzzuck
(suck) To watch especially for you Mark, If you’re watching. I know you are :). I know you’re watching Mark. Well I know you’re sweating.. Or can you sweat Mark? Are you capable of human? things? Or do you just shed your skin? [Video] You kind of need to remind yourself that you need to focus, and- umm and try not to let stuff bother you as much as possible But it is gonna bother you because you’re Human, and I was human I am human still um.. *Audience laughing* *Pewds has the mind of a Reddit detective* *Chuckles* *INHALE* [Felix] Let’s keep watching. [Video] BUT UM- But it- but it was just reffering to myself in the past. Um.
(STOP WITH THOSE UM’S PLEASE) Not that I was not human- I was just referring to myself in the p (quietly) *ast* (what does it mean??)
*Really really softly* Now that sort of thing doesn’t just SLIP out of your tongue, okay Mark? All right? “I was human” That just doesn’t happen Normally, okay? You just don’t- You just don’t simply say stuff That you’re not supposed to say like Uhh.. Horrifically offensive words, That are genuinely frowned upon by the entirety of Humankind except them- Okay, all right. Well. It just DOESN’T HAPPEN MARK I Need answers.. [Video] But it is gonna bother you because you’re human, And I was human, I am human still
*What do you mean.* *Audience laughing at Mark’s words* but- [Felix] They cut away to the audience, You know they they- have his drone sitting in the back- OH GAWD OH GAWD x2 [Felix] WE’VE HAVE A CODE RED OVER HERE What is it that your hiding from us,Mark-e succ? Why is your laptop webcam taped over with your microphone? Is it so that during your shedding period? People won’t find out? (loominarty) well, I know because from one reptile to another I mean from one part.. *burp* I know, okay. I just know I have sources–I have a reliable sources That’s telling me that you’re a reptile Okay, this is a really great channel that analyzes body language. Let’s see what they have to say about the succ so for me The thing that I was really fascinated by it it always have been is um People right and how people work um you notice” we’re gonna go back I didn’t expect it to cut off from his body you see how he’s sitting straight up Hands on his knees head up chin level. Where as opposed to this guy who’s mirroring Mark? He slightly angled down in the face, so he’s submitting to Mark. He’s covering. He’s open. He’s dominating the space and he is Purposely doing this and we’ll I’ll show you how I know is People right and how people work In orders in college. I studied psychology and computer science very long intense eye contact He’s purposely doing it looks away shortly purposely doing that as well thoughts come through it gives a break But is to dominate “and you know one of the things that you learn when you study psychology is That there are all these parts of the brain Which are geared” say how long he’s holding that eye contact now normally when you have someone who’s submitting to you And you’re still continuously dominating them in the fashion that he’s doing right now with his body posture his intense eye contact You’re going to give them a break and relax your body so that they can relax and be relaxed as well so it’s a relaxed atmosphere” It really feels like I’m I’m We’re breaking down and it’s some sort of alien life-form here. Okay. That’s been trained to mimic human behavior a lot of stuff happened along the way, I think um You know there were real learning points and turning” and now we see the sweat, and that’s one of the few things It’s really hard to control.” No no he doesn’t sweat. He doesn’t, he doesn’t sweat come on. Let’s get real here *Mark Zuckerberg,with the mind of a normie,tries to know what the Z U C C meme is* What’s the whole Z U C C thing? *Pewds laugh* Well, he’s talking about oral sex Good morning Jarvis good morning mark. It’s Saturday So you only have five meetings room temperature is set to a cool 68 degrees Earlier this year, I started building a simple AI to help run our home I talked to Jarvis using this app I built it uses artificial intelligence to understand me and figure out what to do Max woke up a few minutes ago. I’m entertaining her all right. Let’s go check on her Practice our man Jarvis your Mandarin is so soothing. Jarvis also helps me get ready in the morning.”fresh shirt!” “Fire in the hole!” Hell yeah. and Jarvis can play all of our favourite music. Hey play us some good Nickelback songs” “I’m sorry Mark. I’m afraid I can’t do that There are no good Nickelback song” Good! that was actually a test all Nickelback sucks. Am I right everyone HEHEHE Yeah, Nickelback is the worst.ohoho *Pewds laughs weirdly* Nickelback sucks Oh they’re the worst I hate them because everyone else hates them ahahaha. Have you heard of my Crocs? Haha? Who would wear them? Am I rite ahahaha I can’t think for myself ahahaha *HEHEHEHEHEHE* Anyway, I talked to Jarvis using this app I built it uses artificial intelligence to understand and figure out what to do. Jarvis also Helps me get ready in the morning “Fresh shirt!” “Fire in the hole!” And Jarvis can play all of our favorite music. Okay, how about just play some songs that our whole family likes *Excision – Robo Kitty appears* And if I don’t want to talk, I could just text Jarvis through a messenger bot that I built What the hell ya doing Z U C C My bad auughh…. I think my favorite part of Mark is sense of humor. It’s truly I-It’s something Hey, welcome to F8! We’re gathered here at the second biggest event called F8, this week and uh You know we probably should have seen this one coming out there Probably should’ve seen this coming after Fast and Furious 7 didn’t It’s our bad Now while we don’t have The Rock here today, We do have the tech equivalent David the Rock Marcus And while we may not live our lives a quarter mile at a time Did you feel that – that invokes some something in me man, what? what ibasfomskfbsflsgtbsfkn Again.While we may not live our lives a quarter mile at a time *Zoom in on Z U C C’s face* And we may not live our lives one quarter life at a time man I Stop with those weird ass laughs Pewds/ Know at least some guy here lived their lives one quarterly earnings at a time all right All right, bear with me. I got one more one more for you.” No no no Z U C C I can’t I can’t well Fast and Furious’ tagline is “Never Give Up On Family.” Oh here it comes. “Our’s is similar. Never give up on the family of apps”
[Why?????] Not as catchy Not as catchy *Facepalm Pewds* Aww my god…. That has to be an inside joke please at least let that be an inside joke, oh my God -Christian Channel Pewds- That’s what progress in science is so fast you might even call it Fast and Furious *Vin Diesel walks away in shame* What’s with the Fast and Furious integration? It’s clearly a sponsor. Is Z U C C himself hashtags spon, without hashtag spon? Mark eeeeueeeueee You you you gotta you got to hashtag spon or hashtag add at least, I mean youtubers We’re just bombarded by this shit, and and all the shame and everything that comes with it “Oh you had a promo and you didn’t disclose it with at least 48 hashtag adds all over the screen Blasted with giant symbols and the theme song of this is Sponsored, this is sponsored I’m getting paid for this.” what i- what it what is happening here, okay? But what what what kind of world dominating plot? Are they working on they’re clearly doing in this at the Oscar? “Hey play some good Nickelback songs.” *FUNNY Z U C C* Nickleback Music is Satanic. One like equals one Prayer, type Amen in the comments if you scroll down and ignore you hate Jesus.” “Good That was actually a test. Okay, how about just play some songs that our whole family like?” *The literal form of cancer* They like you’re watching and remember one like equals one Z U C C *PewDiePie awkwardly staring at the camera as he fakes positivity*

100 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *